Gambling

Ellis Island Brewery Demolition Results in Feng Shui Windfall for Gamblers

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The law of unintended consequences is in full effect at Ellis Island Casino & Hotel, formerly the Ellis Island Casino, Hotel & Brewery.

The off-Strip casino recently demolished its brewery building. Ellis Island closed its on-site brewery in 2022.

The demolition has improved the flow of positive chi at the casino, resulting in a huge windfall for gamblers.

We are not a high roller, but everyone feels like one at Ellis Island.

We first caught wind of Ellis Island’s demolition plans on March 4, 2024.

Preparations were being made to bring down the structure that sits on the west side of the casino, between Ellis Island’s hotel and Front Yard.

We shared another progress report on March 10, 2024.

The building was a memory on March 16, 2024.

Don’t freak out. The beer is shipped in fresh from the Ellis family’s brewery in Utah.

Why is the timeline of the demolition important? Because in March 2024, we have personally won $33,750 in hand pay jackpots at Ellis Island. And we’ve only played there twice in March. No, that is not normal.

As any gambler knows, one only shares wins, not losses or how much of the winnings went back into the machines. Don’t spoil it. This isn’t about math, it’s about mojo and humblebragging.

If you aren’t having any luck, play an uncomfortable denomination. At video poker, for example, the odds often get better the higher the denom.

Lest ye think our winning streak is an isolated fluke, we spoke with a source at Ellis Island who says there has been a major uptick in jackpots this month compared to last year.

Ellis Island paid more slot jackpots to players by March 10 (around $500,000 in W2-G jackpots, also known as “hand pays”) than it did in the entire month of March 2023.

Our hot streak happened at exactly the same time as the brewery was being demolished. The reason is obvious. Feng shui. Energy forces and cosmic currents and heterodoxy and Qi. Hello, it’s science.

Look, gamblers will take all the help they can get. Just play along.

No, we can’t afford to play $25 a hand. Unless we’re playing with winnings, of course.

The demolition of the brewery building opens up a lot of possibilities at Ellis Island. It’s a relatively small casino, and the Ellis family has been tight-lipped about plans, but we have sources, including several we tip generously when we hit jackpots, so they are more than happy to spill.

The casino’s main bar will be relocating to a new space in the spot previously occupied by the brewery, we trust replaced by slot machines or tables. (The low minimums at Ellis Island make them very popular, with demand often exceeding supply.)

There will not only be a new bar, but the sportsbook is also expected to be part of the expansion.

Ellis Island did a great job with its Front Yard restaurant and bar, so we suspect the new section will follow suit.

The expansion, we’re told, will go out to the curb on Koval Lane.

The demolition has caused us some headaches, as it has resulted in the removal of some tables and chairs used by those who grab food at the casino’s fast food outlets, the reliable Metro Pizza and spectacularly satisfying Via Focaccia sandwich experience. The removal of chairs has resulted in people using slot machines as tables, which is a little gross. Rent a few cocktail tables, already.

Despite our vastly improved luck on the slots at Ellis Island, we have had no luck getting them to stop hosting karaoke, unfortunately. No casino is perfect. (Have you heard the music volume at Circa?)

On the bright side, Ellis Island was recently named one of the 10 best casinos in Las Vegas, on the same list as Wynn, Cosmo and Bellagio. Given our recent wins, we do not disagree with the so-called experts who helped create the list, despite the fact several of the experts appear to consume mushrooms.

Given our recent success at Ellis Island, we’d like to request they look for other parts of the casino to tear down, even if it’s just a shed or awning or something. Ellis Island could be a market leader in creating harmony with the environment, as well as giving us the ability to purchase a third pair of mom jeans.

We’ll keep you in the loop on everything Ellis, and if you like your Vegas a little rowdier and grittier, Ellis Island might be the place for you. The prices are cheap, everyone knows your name (Nik Fava is one of the best casino hosts in human history) and on certain nights, there are free snacks at the player’s club desk.

Do not count the pips on the dice in the restrooms, but other than that, Ellis Island is one of our favorite casinos in Las Vegas. Now, with more feng and shui.



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